UK - Four-legged fun

4 July - 5 August

Hello everyone!

My name is Mini. I'm a delightful (and possibly slightly racist) Jack Russell who lives in Malawi. My owners love Malawi too but they have gone on holiday for a month. Normally they leave me with my sister in Lilongwe; this time is a bit different...

Cute and I know it

A TV remote is a toy, right? Right?

From snippets of conversation I've heard (they think I don't understand them but I choose not to listen), moving a dog from one country to another is laborious, expensive and stressful. They started organising for me to go in January! This involved being given lots of injections and tablets. I was superbly behaved - I only tried to bite one person's hand off! The whole process took a while apparently, only being sorted one day before flying.

I often look worried, but I can assure you
that I sometimes enjoy Matt's company

Matt spent a lot of time watching Wimbledon
instead of playing with me - I was not impressed

Partly this is because of the countries involved. I heard Matt say that the UK is notoriously thorough about the paperwork for any animal entering the country. He seemed annoyed at one point because a Malawian government official initially wrote the wrong chip number on all of my documents. Matt will tell you that it caused stress, panic and many, many emails. He can talk, at the time he had left me with my sister while he was on his jollies in Madagascar!

What Matt imagined my face looked like when he
was told they'd written the wrong chip number

The moment when Matt's stress levels went through the roof

One morning (turns out this was the day they put me in the massive metal machine), we drove to the airport in the morning. Matt seemed miffed as I had to be there a whopping seven hours before the flight. He kept telling me that he would be on the flight too but I didn't see him. Maybe they put humans in a different part of the plane?

Not my favourite place - I made Matt walk me around for over
30 minutes before going to the toilet as punishment

I wanted to play with the immigration officer - Matt thought
this was a bad idea so I had to sit in the crate

The giant metal machine - Matt seemed happy because it was a Dreamliner

Soon I was off the plane in a place called Ethiopia. I got dumped on my own on a pavement near some bags. It was very dark and noisy! Amazingly, Matt turned up to let me out for a quick runaround. Well, once he had persuaded a nearby man to look for a knife to cut open the ties on my crate. He was telling me that he had had to speak to six different airport staff, and wait around for 30 minutes, before being taken downstairs to see me. It was nice to finally get some food, though I got a bit upset when he unceremoniously shoved me back into the crate. Why did I have to go back in??

Matt found me alone on the pavement - I was quite scared!

He brought me food, that was the most important thing

Another trip in the massive metal machine took me to a strange Kingdom - they claim it's United but you wouldn't think so from watching the news (why do they think I don't understand humans?). I was taken to an ARC - Matt later attempted to make a joke about animals going in 2 by 2 but I didn't get it - where they told me how lovely I was and let me finally go to the toilet. Phew! After about six hours, they called Matt to tell him to come and get me. Being the selfish soul that he is, he insisted on having lunch first before getting me. I punished him by doing a massive poo on the pavement outside. Pick that up.

Friends reunited

There was a strange person with him. I had seen her on Skype before. He kept saying 'Mum', so that's what I thought of her as well. We went back to a large house and later met another person I'd seen on Matt's computer. Turns out that was his Dad. They've never had a dog before but gave me more love - and cheese - in an hour than I'd had in a month. New best friends!

The Dad must have misheard my name, instead calling me
'Sweetie'. I got lots of love though so can forgive it.

I pooed on this road :-)

Helping around the house - any crumbs, I'll
clean them up! Unless they're vegetables.

There were lots of fun adventures and games with these two. They seemed to find it particularly funny that I managed to open the car window with my paw. They also appreciated how smart I am so had dog-proofed the garden. I still got out once, though. :-)

I do like sticking my head out of the window

They boarded up the gaps in the garden with chicken wire

One time they also forgot to take me with them on a trip. I was stuck in the house forever (editor's note: no more than 8 hours). Matt has since tried to assure me that I wouldn't have enjoyed whiskey tasting in London - I beg to differ. As you can see from the video, I was happy when they returned.

Waiting...

Still waiting...

Meanwhile in London...selfish so and so's...

I settled into village life very quickly. Matt kept complaining that our walks were very slow and short but there were so many new smells! Only once did I get scared, when a car revved its engine. I much preferred walking here compared to Malawi. Particularly when we walked to the pub - we did that a lot!

My favourite place, particularly when the staff gave me dog biscuits!

We also watched Matt's mum sing in a choir. I called for an encore after
the first song - Matt told me to shush, which I thought was very rude.

We also did a bit of exploring in the nearby area. The garden centre was so much fun! I tried to explain this to the lady selling fruit outside but she got a bit scared. We also went to a reservoir where I met lots of other dogs. I'm getting better with other dogs now, honest!

So. Many. Smells.

Ardingly Reservoir - very nice place.

I met lots of Matt's family one day. They all came to celebrate his Dad’s 60th birthday. That doesn't seem that old to me - I'm already 15 in their human years - but lots of people came for a big house party. After protecting the big marquee from any invaders (cats), I spent the afternoon letting everyone tell me how wonderful I was.

Marquee: protected.

It was sunny so I was able to sunbathe for a while

The centrepiece was an amazing cake made by my Matt's mum - a three-tiered, three-flavoured Lord of the Rings cake. I enjoyed the ring, which was flavoured with lemon and elderflower. I was on my best behaviour and only growled towards the end of the night when I protected Matt from being attacked by his cousin (he claims it was a hug but he'd had a lot to drink). 

The One Cake To Rule Them All

It seemed cruel to destroy it but that meant I got to eat some :-)

Matt took me to some really cool places. We went to a seaside city called Brighton for a day. It was quite windy so Matt had given me a jumper. He said there was a big festival happening that weekend called 'Pride' and that my jumper would make me very popular with the locals...

The house behind me is upside-down. Have they not realised that?

Illegally strolling on Brighton Beach

I also went further afield. Matt seemed very excited to be going to a place called 'home'. He later called it 'Wales', I don't know what the difference is. To get there, he plopped me in my backpack and expected me to sit still for hours at a time on a train. With all those new smells and people to say hi to? Not a chance! He seemed particularly annoyed when I tried to get the attention of the lady with the snack trolley.

Apparently I wasn't trusted to walk onto or around the train without trying to eat someone

When the noise died down, I was in my happy place

Our first stop was a place called Barry Island. I loved that place - it had sand!!!!!

After four different trains, it was nice to stretch my legs

I've never been more excited at 7am...

From there his friend Sam drove us to the Gower, a pretty coastal area in South Wales. I walked...and walked...and sprinted along the beach...and walked even more! Matt tricked me into going into the sea and then realised he'd forgotten to pack my spare harness, meaning he had to use his belt as a collar. Silly billy.

Love. The. Beach!

He did give me some sausage and mash to warm me up

There were also lots of animals to say hi to. Running after sheep is now my all-time favourite hobby. There was one sheep that didn't run away, instead acting like another dog and trying to sniff my bottom!

The black sheep that came and said hello instead of running away

Cows are massive! I ate a cow pat on this walk, Matt was not impressed.

Matt bought me a sheep in Cardiff - very tasty!

There was one day when Matt took me to lots of pubs and spent all day watching people hitting balls on TV. He thinks I became a keen cricket and tennis fan. I only enjoyed it because he gave me part of his breakfast and lots of cheese. He later held me up like a trophy and started singing 'CHAMPIOLE'. Again, he'd had a lot to drink.

Matt and his friends had the Wimbledon final on the left telly
and the Cricket World Cup final on the right telly

The real winner?

I enjoyed Roath Park, though got a bit too close to the swans...

I also got to spend a week down in Devon with Hannah and her family. That was so much fun - there were TWO other dogs for me to play with! Perfect sunbathing weather, too.

Mango, my best friend in Devon

Being dragged on another walk - why do
they think I need to walk so much?

Aah the beach. Bliss. 

Though it stressed him out a lot, Matt has thoroughly enjoyed me being with him in the UK. I've loved it here, too. He won't tell anyone how much money it was for my holiday (he keeps pointing out that his flight was 'free' with air miles so he had the money) but I'm definitely worth it. Not sure I can go back to eating Malawian cheese, though. When's the next trip? :-)

Sally tried to give me some discipline. Good luck...

Love you all,

Mini