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| Lilongwe Colour Run |
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| Sunset at Cape Maclear |
G is for…golf
Alternatives: gule wamkulu, Green, geocache, Golomoti ‘Top Gear’ road
There was no excuse left for me. Malawi is the cheapest place to learn. It was something many of my friends would do. Time to learn to hit a very small ball a long way in a straight direction.
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| Playing at Game Haven, a course with the added challenge of zebra and wildebeest |
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| Swinging at Mulanje golf club, with Malawi's highest mountain in the background |
Evidently I’m still learning as the ball doesn’t go a long way and it often bends off to the left. Still, Friday afternoon golf and a few beers afterwards was a great way to end the working week and switch over to weekend mode.
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| Our regular Friday foursome |
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| We used to bring Mini along for a long Friday walk |
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| We occasionally played in social competitions |
I was amazed by how many courses there are in the country. Calling them courses is generous. The one at Zomba, for example, is a common thoroughfare for walking traffic and is often overgrown. I like the idea of hitting to the ‘brown’ rather than a ‘green’ as well. Not forgetting trying to avoid zebras when playing at Game Haven.
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| Putting (in the days before I had a left-handed putter) on the brown in Zomba |
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| Extra spectators at Game Haven |
Lilongwe’s club has a lovely course which is slowly being destroyed by bizarre decisions from the board. As more trees are chopped down with no sense of shame or climate protection, this unique bit of tranquility near arguably the busiest part of the city will lose its charm and wildlife. I’m glad I learnt to play and will keep trying if it’s as affordable in other places in the future.
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| This is how you should hit a golf ball |
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| Probably the funniest memory: my caddy 'panning for gold' in order to find my ball in a particularly soggy bunker |
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| That Friday afternoon feeling! |
H is for…Honey Badgers
Alternatives: hash
This isn’t what you think, which is why it’s capitalised. This was the name of our first volleyball team. We played in a league for most of our time here. Like golf, something I couldn’t do when we first arrived. Like golf, something which I’m still not great at after a lot of games. That could be my excuse for there not being any pictures of us actually playing; in reality, we just never bothered to take pictures.
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| Once we turned up to find this... |
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| ...but an hour later we'd all helped to dredge the court to make it playable |
This is one of the most popular regular expat ‘events’. It’s a great way of meeting people. The quality varies quite wildly - we enjoyed playing because we’d managed to solidify our position as mid-table in the middle league of three. Down in C League, most other teams wouldn’t be able to have a rally. Up in A League, there was a chance that your head would get taken off with a spike.
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| We won B league once, but lost a promotion play-off |
Games are on a Wednesday evening. We had a tacit agreement that our games would be as early as possible; no teacher wants to be playing volleyball after ‘Malawi Midnight’ (8pm) on a school night.
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| Game at 6:30 - ideal |
We rebranded after Covid, making a new team called Spikological Warfare. Why Honey Badgers, you ask? Mainly because of their attitude towards caring…
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| Stuck in B league but with an A standard name! |
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| Sporting connection - I also played a couple of football games (badly) for BOBS |
I is for…Ilala
Alternatives: Impala beer, idiots on the road
One of my most striking memories of my time in Malawi will be when, in a slightly drunken haze, I peered over the side of a large boat at about 3am to see a live cow trying to be loaded onto the bottom deck.
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| Moooove on! |
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| People disembarking from the Ilala at Nkhata Bay |
The Ilala faithfully plods up and down the western shore of Lake Malawi, the country’s crown jewel. It feels more like an ocean than a lake at times, particularly when the wind picks up and creates the illusion of waves.
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| Ominous skies over the lake at Makakola |
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| Swimming with the cichlids near Cape Maclear |
I took the boat with a group of colleagues over the Christmas break in 2020. Those colleagues quickly became good friends. We were using it to visit Likoma, an island owned by Malawi but much closer to the Mozambican shoreline.
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| Our Likoma crew |
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| Dancing with the ladies on Christmas Day |
That boat, though. Not for the faint-hearted, particularly if you care about personal space. I loved it.
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| It takes the boat a week to do its complete schedule |
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| One of many little boats which transport people from the Ilala to Likoma |
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| One of the most stunning sunsets I've ever seen was on Likoma |
J is for…jacaranda
Alternatives: Jack Russell, Joss Stone
I wasn’t one for flora before moving to Malawi. Yet it’s hard to stay ambivalent towards the incredible blossoms which illuminate an otherwise drab city.
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| Jacarandas are actually an invasive, non-native species for Malawi |
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| Cassia tree in bloom in Mulanje |
Different times of year would allow different trees to become the centrepieces on our route to school. In August and September, a carpet of lavender would appear on the sides of the road as jacaranda trees bloomed. October and November belonged to the flame trees, whose fiery red would reflect the intense heat of that time of year. As rainy season began, so too did the season of the cassia, its bright yellow flowers standing strong against the dark and stormy skies.
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| Lots of these trees are found near the old State House, which was on our route to school |
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| There are many beautiful trees, such as this flame tree, at the golf club |
We had a frangipani tree in our garden which would sprout beautiful white flowers. One day the owner of the compound decided it was sick…so chopped the whole thing down. The fact that I was upset about this showed how I’d become more of a tree-lover.
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| This tree wasn't chopped down - it toppled in a particularly bad storm |
It horrifies me that so many beautiful and historic trees are being slain without abandon throughout the city. Admittedly they are trying to fix the awful traffic, but surely there was a better way?
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| This road used to be lined with trees - 980 have recently been felled in the city to widen main road arteries |
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| Jacarandas help make the BMIS campus very pretty |
K is for…Kuti
Alternatives: Kuche Kuche
Muddy madness was the usual name of the game at this small wildlife reserve. The host of Malawi’s ‘Mud Run’. A wildlife reserve in which you could freely move around…well, so long as you’re careful around Evelyn, the park’s one ostrich.
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| The start of the 2020 Mud Run |
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| At the end of the first race in 2017, we had food in an open rotunda. When all the food was out, Evelyn waddled into the middle... and defecated violently onto the floor. |
There were times when a relative lack of rain had led to a lack of the required amount of mud. Unless you got creative and purposely rolled around in it…The fact that I later got sent the wrong way and had to be returned to base on a bicycle made that slightly annoying.
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| I rolled around in that mud for a bit before trying to run through it |
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| Later that day I got on a flight to The Hague with 15 teenagers. I did shower first... |
Arguably the muddiest visit to Kuti wasn’t for the Mud Run. The park entrance is 7 km off the main road, after which you drive a few kilometres to get to the lodges and campsite. One February, none of our cars were able to navigate that last stretch. Not even a Land Cruiser. We had to be collected by a tractor.
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| Car one of two being rescued by the tractor... |
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| ...before we were then rescued as well! |
L is for…Liwonde
Alternatives: Likoma, lununda, Lake Malawi, Luwawa, Lizulu market
Probably my favourite place in the whole country is Liwonde National Park. I went three times in total, each one being an incredible adventure allowing me to get up close to animals in their natural habitat.
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| My first visit was with my parents in 2017 |
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| A fish eagle ponders the arrival of the Woodheads in 2019 |
Liwonde has changed a lot since I first went with my parents in 2017. At that time, there were no predators. Warthogs would happily trot around, impala didn’t seem to have a care in the world…
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| Kudu horns are majestic to look at |
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| One of the larger monitor lizards you'll find |
The long-term rehabilitation plan of the park was always to return it towards a time before poaching ravaged its populations, however. Translocations and reintroductions of cheetahs, lions and black rhinos have added variety and naturality to Liwonde.
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| Liwonde has many stunning baobabs |
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| Two cheetah cubs playing during our 2022 visit |
Much as I love a hippo, it’s about the elephants for me. They’ve been so successful at protecting them in Liwonde that they’ve had to move hundreds to different parks to prevent future human-wildlife conflict. Seeing over sixty of them drinking at the river’s edge and frolicking around is one of my most cherished memories of Malawi.
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| They've actually had to relocate hundreds of elephants, a sign that the park's rehabilitation journey is on a positive road |
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| The herd at play |
M is for…Mavuto
Alternatives: Mini & Maxi, Mumbo Island, malaria, Malawi Midnight, Malawisaurus, The Marriage Terminator
Mavuto means ‘trouble’. Mavuto was the name we gave our car. There is an obvious connection.
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| Bought for 3 million in 2016, sold for 2.4 million in 2022 |
A car is a necessary evil in Lilongwe for many reasons: lack of cycling safety, unreliable and unsafe public transport, costs of taxis and so on. Getting the car was trouble enough, which resulted in having to threaten the seller with police action in order to be given the blue book showing ownership of the car.
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| Getting a COF check - it failed it once, which is quite a rare feat! |
Once ours, Mavuto spent a lot of time (and cost a fair bit of money) in different garages getting a bit of TLC. The man we would take the car to for a while always seemed to charge between $100 and $150, no matter how big or small the problem. We eventually moved on and ignored the various kinks it had, ranging from a boot which needed to be shut in a certain way to the spoiler falling off one day when I closed said boot.
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| I think the problem here was that the window wouldn't shut |
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| We seemed to always come back to a flat tyre whenever we returned from a stint abroad |
Ultimately, Mavuto was a reliable little plodder which served us well for six years. Compared to other car-related horror stories we’ve heard, I think we actually did alright with our Rav4.
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| Mavuto went across the whole country - here it is taking a rest in Luwawa |
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| On the road to Cape Maclear - no working air con, of course! |
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| A traditional mask in Mua Mission |
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| Mavuto being trampled by a monkey at Vwaza Marsh |
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